Then one day while in a local mall restroom I turned from the urinal to see an attractive woman washing her hands at the sink. I took the sink beside her and as I started to wash my hands, trying to act suave.I said, “I think one of us is in the wrong restroom.”To which she replied in a deep voice, “No honey, I’m in the right one,” and dried her hands, then sashayed out, those sweet cheeks swinging hard.Dopey me, I stood there as she dried her hands and left, my jaw on the sink, and the biggest hard-on in my pants, unable to say a word.I had another sexy dream that night about having a blind date. A dinner date where the conversation started about interesting things in our past while evolving to what we liked, including in the bedroom. The date ended with her inviting me to her apartment where she revealed she possessed more than a genetic woman.I woke up in the gooey results of my wet dream, somewhat amazed at how much there was, and just thinking about it would give me an erection.. And because none of my friends knew I was there or even that I was gay, I had no one to talk to. So I did something I’m not proud of – I fake texted.I believe my inner dialogue went something along the lines of: “Oh my god, everyone knows I’m here alone. Everyone is staring at me thinking I am a huge creep… Wait a minute. No one is actually looking at me. Why is no one looking at me?? Am I not attractive to lesbians? F*ck, here comes someone. La di da, don’t mind me, I’m just looking at my cell phone, checking all my text messages from all my hot lady suitors… Okay, phew. They passed.”This went on for an hour. I literally sat there, surrounded by sexy women and fun music, staring at a blank cell phone screen. It was getting late. The bar was going to close in 45 minutes. Suddenly, something clicked in me. I stood up, mumbled “F*ck it” under my breath, and walked into the crowd of dancing lesbians.Do you know how awkward it is to dance by yourself amidst a crowd of people all dancing.
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